I havne't been updating about the shit that has been going down--must get better at this...

Tuesday morning I had my French final. It went alright--could've gone better, could've gone worse. No matter what, I'm getting at least a B, hopefully an A- if the final didn't go as poorly as my cynical side always imagines.

Tuesday night I went to see the round of final performances by the Scene & Monologue class in the studio theater. They did a series of Shakespeare soliloquies (incorporating constant movement and voice), and then scenes from modern plays. Archie--the Indian girl with the chocolate skin who dates my former roomate, Brendan (the Irish one)--did a scene with another girl from "Parallel Lives" which was absolutely hilarious, done in Valley-girl style. The last scene was from a play called "Rabbit Hole" and was pretty good. Both made me want to go out and find the plays (wasn't "Parallel Lives" made into a movie? It sounds familiar...)

Unfortunately, about halfway through the performance, my left lense popped out and clattered under the bleachers. I had to crawl under there afterwards, and once I had located it, climbed up through the second row, emerging like some kind of worm. It was pretty hilarious--but not before I could retrieve it. I found out that one lense still aids the other eye, but it's not particularly comfortable. I need, in addition to a proper pair of shoes, to get some new glasses. Hopefully both can be purple.

Afterwards, I went to Johnson House, as the Creative Writing class was having a similar final-themed reading. The editor of an anthology, "A Stranger Among Us" was there, and the teacher, Sharon May (who was replacing Barnstone this year--he was on sabbatical), read her story that was in there, about a Cambodian ex-patriate who works as a translator with the Australian Immigration Authority on the Thai border. Afterwards, they talked about both sides of trying to get published, which was very interesting for me, obviously, as I plan to have a career on at least one of those sides (writer and/or editor).

And last night I went to the final round of performances for the Performing Non-Fiction class. This is the class where each person chooses a (semi-)historical figure to research and write a one-person, fifteen minute play about it. (This was the first time they offered it, so hopefully I can take it my junior year and do Edna St. Vincent Millay, and get to wear a flapper dress and a red bob, and throw letters about, giggling high-pitchedly). It was all rather meta, as they were moving around the few props making up the set right in front of us, with barely dimmed lights, but they were all pretty good, and some of them were *really* good. Here's a break-down:

I mostly came for Chris's one anyway (but I really liked Tim's too). Maybe I should've stayed to congratulate Tim, but I couldn't stop staring at Chris (he changed out of his paint-covered clothes right there, not helping matters), but I had to run out...

I want to overcome this loneliness, and I think I just need to hang out with friend more... So, this summer, I have many fun things planned, and just generally try and be productive. Try and not give this thing--this thirst for melodrama which is always boiling under the surface, waiting to explode like this--too many chances to manifest... Nobody likes a drama queen!

I think it's may be that I want attention--but in a sense, I don't want people to focus on me at these times. Or I do. I'm not looking for pity--or do I want to shock? I think I just want to totally break down so I can just let out all this anger and sorrow that's been festering inside of me for so long... Oh, how emo!

Well, I'm gonna go now and hope that I haven't scared y'all too greatly. Next post will no doubt be concerned with the practicalities of finals and going back home. Cheers.

Can I just say how relieved I am to have finally gotten this out? I think I was just stressing out too much about it being perfect, because I know for a fact no one has ever written an academic essay on Garth Nix, at least, not to this extent. I'm very proud, no matter how rough it is, and hope to continue to write about his work. (That is, it's good for an English class, but I want to become an actual literary scholar here... I'm just not there yet...:-/)

***

A few days back, I was having a total panic-attack about being able to do all the things I'm signing myself up for next year. And now it looks like I may be adding yet another (WAY bigger) obligation, and yet, it's not stressing me. Today, I handled my business much more productively, so I'm feeling positive about it.

That is, registered this morning. By doing my homework very carefully I was able to have no trouble getting into the classes I was aiming at: English 220 (survey course), French 220 (Intermediate), Philosophy 386 (Feminist Philosophy), English 310 (Linguistics), INTD 011 (class for being on QC), and INTD 033 (Teaching Composition).

I'll be part of the QC staff next year, so I figured that would be a good one credit class to take. (In case you haven't figured it out yet, that's the Quaker Campus, student newspaper). The Teaching Composition one has a caveat or three. According to my advisor, it is indeed the class for Peer Mentors, for the Freshmen Writing Composition classes. So I need to talk to Charlie Eastman, because I'm not sure why it would let me sign up for that... but it is right up my alley, so I would be amazingly pleased if I *could* be a Peer Mentor/Tutor/whatever they're calling it this year. That was one of the few saving graces of *my* first semester.

Speaking of which, my second opinion piece for the QC (which I just turned in today) is all about that. I'll be sure to post--and this time, I know how to make all the links work, swearsit! ^_^

Okay, go start reading

jeremytblack

A year ago today, I received my admission letter from Whittier. If I knew then where I'd be in a year... wow, I would've been really happy about it. Yeah, for the first time in my life, I'm pretty darn near close to happy. Stressed, but then, who isn't? ^_^

*virtual hugs for everyone!*

Thank you, Virgin Mary! 

I'm gay.

I'm sure I'm the absolute last person on the planet to realize this, and maybe I'm being overly influenced by my new Lesbian hubbie, but it just seems like more fun than confusion. Also, it'll be funny to see my mother's reaction. Like whenever I say lesbian, and she gets all sniffly: "Why do you have to say things like that?" mopily, like a dog. She can be unintentionally funny like that sometimes.

Oh, I know, that's horrible! But, anywho, when I called my mom (finally!) I just had the overwhelming urge to be funny and try and cheer her up. It's sad to think she's still in the situation I've barely escaped. Oh, and apparently my sister is in jail... for her baby-daddy "beating on her". o.0 A very wtf moment until she gets back to me to clarify...

Oh, and as to the gayness? I'll try it out. I mean, I'm so frickin' flaming it's not even funny. Okay, it is; and fun. Maybe I am just a girl on the inside, but I guess I'm tired of being pissed when people assume it anyway, so why not play into their expectations and have a little fun?

And anyway, I'm still gonna work on myself personally before jumping into anything with anybody. And it's not like I have guys beating on my door or anything. Maybe this summer me and my sister can go check out the gay scene she's always hanging out in anyway... meanwhile, me and my LB can go to West Hollywood...

***

And now school is officially open again. It's weird to be out of Wanberg... this past week has felt like a whole separate year; I feel like I might have changed a little. (Well, *looks above*, OBVIOUSLY).

So, now, I need to focus on doing really well this last half of the semester and kicking ass and taking names (hopefully ones that start with the same letter as mine. ;))

Because I'm beginning to get a bad attitude about some people again... but hey! That first part of the post made me so happy, I just wanna be happy for as long as possible! ^_^

***

Oh, and now that I've spent the last week stuffing my head full of a semester's worth of Italiano, I need to brush up on my fracais before my first class with Chirol! Wish me luck! *dashes off*

I won't be around this weekend; library closed for Spring Break. Though it opens back up Monday through Thursday... but is then closed on Friday and Saturday. Whether Stauffer closes... I know the cafeteria's closed, and so are a lot of the upperclassmen dorms... And I have yet to see even ONE mention of whether Stauffer is closing.

If it does, I'll just experiment in street-walking...

Joking. But, no, I'm sure it'll be fine. Land on my feet? Maybe I shoulda just gone up to Sacramento, or somethin', but *I* didn't really have the money, and plus I'm lazy. So, you may see me, you may not.

*disappears in a puff of smoke*

Hey, if you can, and wish to hear both my beautiful voice and taste in music, listen to the Mann Show tomorrow (Wednesday.) at 7p.m. (link to listen is here: http://www.live365.com/stations/kpoet?site=pro)

Directly after that, at 8, I have to get to "The Crucible", in which my lesbian lover, Branden, is playing Abigail. So my day tomorrah is gonna be packed. Then Midterm on Thursday in AICH, followed by a test in French right after that--yikes!

Meanwhile, due to the fact that we're getting ever deeper into grammar in French, I'm pulling out my old Italian notes and grammar book, because I feel like it's fallen to the wayside. So, this summer, I *need* to take an Italian class... and voice lessons. *crosses fingers* Oh, yeah, and I'll need a job too--however will I find that? I guess I'll just temp, m'kay? That's what I suggested 

hikari_leo

I'm sorry
Two words I always think
After you've gone
When I realize I was acting all wrong

So selfish
Two words that could describe
Oh actions of mine
When patience is in short supply

We don't need to say goodbye
We don't need to fight and cry
Oh we, we could hold each other tight tonight

We're so helpless
We're slaves to our impulses
We're afraid of our emotions
And no one knows where the shore is
We're divided by the ocean
And the only thing I know is
That the answer isn't for us
No the answer isn't for us

I'm sorry
Two words I always think
Oh after you've gone
When I realize I was acting all wrong

We don't need to say goodbye
We don't need to fight and cry
We, we could hold each other tight tonight
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight...

This Friday I went up to CalTech to *finally* visit Ryan. I was surprised that the trip only took about an hour and a half--good to know for future visits.

I think this was the first time I saw Ryan since we both graduated--I quickly fell back into old habits, by which I of course mean, being excessively mean and teasing Ryan to no end. I'm glad he finally grew his hair out; I spent so many years trying to get him to do it! (I, too, have finally reached a level of satisfaction with my own hair that I have been trying to achieve for the past three years. :P)

At any rate, CalTech looks surprisingly like an Ivy League school in architecture--and in character, as well. Security is very lax, and I was reading in Legends of CalTech about the time they actually froze Hell over--Hell being the frosh hallway where Ryan currently resides; the walls are painted with flames, the kitchen connecting it to the shorter Heaven hallway being titled Purgatory--using an old refrigeration device and copper tubing. There was ice-skating to be had.

You should hear some of the zany pranks these science and math geeks come up with...o.0 Apparently, they are very rowdy. Who knew?

(Also, only semi-surprisingly, there are certainly quite a few students of Asian-origin. Ryan's new girlfriend, for instance. *wags eyebrows* She was playing this hentai game but for the longest time nothing was happening. The storyline was crap, but the text just kept on going and going and going and going... which brings me to why I'm stupid:

***

I didn't get back until this afternoon, despite having left Ryan's company *yesterday* afternoon. "How is it," you may ask, "Andy my dear fellow, that it took you a full twenty-four hours to get from Pasadena to Whittier, when one can plainly see on a map they are not so far apart and you yourself have stated it only took you less than two to get there in the first place?"

And this would be an excellent query, which I shall respond to thusly:

Well, I'm actually kind of proud of it, yanno? All told, I walked at least twenty miles, and no one can take that away from me. I didn't even get close to collapsing (though my feet got awful sore once I got into Montebello). It was certainly an experience. But I really need to get people's numbers who have cars, so if I ever get stranded, I have somebody to call. :P

This is getting a bit long, but can you tell I've had quite a weekend? Now I need to try and see what homework I can actually do before I go to sleep. (Hint: not much. XP)
___________________________________
*San Marino is, by the way, a very lovely town; when I inevitably sell out to the middle class, it wouldn't be a bad place to live (though I'd rather revert to Sacramento). Pasadena's a bit too snooty for my tastes, though very fine architecturally speaking.
**Whittier lies at the eastern-most point of LA County, just on the cusp of Orange County.
***Compared to what I ended up walking, that is. :P
****Again, comparitively speaking.